Won the prestigious Writer\'s Digest award.
When a.
The shame she felt within was a constant in her life, reminding her that she was unworthy.
The perfectly poised mask she showed the outside world was a far cry from the tortured, panic-stricken, anxious woman within.
She writes of her endless need to be respected by others, all the while believing that if others really knew who she was, they would hate her and look at her with disdain and disgust.
Ignoring the sheer terror she felt at the prospect of speaking in front of others, Van Derbur went on to become a highly successful motivational speaker.
Persuaded to enter a local beauty pageant, she ultimately was crowned Miss America.
After being named valedictorian of her high school class, she went on to college.
She realizes now this was a coping mechanism to keep her two worlds separated-the night child who suffered at the hands of her father and the day child who was happy and outgoing.
As a student and young adult, Van Derbur was an overachiever with an unconscious need to stay very busy.
Van Derbur uses the term incested, eschewing the more vanilla terms of molestation or abuse.
Starting when she was just a child of five, she was sexually abused by her father until she turned 18.
But beneath the surface, Van Derbur was a troubled young woman who lived through horrific panic attacks and excruciating physical pain every day of her adult life.
Anyone who knew Marilyn Van Derbur as a child and young adult believed she had it all -- a loving family, a beautiful home, an active social life.
Told with stark honesty and vivid details that were so important in ridding herself of the pain, torment and shame...
A judge for the Writers Digest book competition wrote: Seldom as a judge have I wanted to read the entire book but I devoured every word of this riveting story...
A loving, long-term relationship and grounded well, adjusted children await you.
IF you do the \'work\' of healing. . .
The pain ends, I promise .
And so that loved ones can better understand the brutal recovery process and never again say, just get over it.
I wrote the book, not because I want someone to learn more about me but so readers can learn more about themselves.
In this award winning book, former Miss America, Marilyn Van Derbur, describes, in detail, her healing process after 13 years of incest. 1,900 books entered the national competition, Miss America by Day won first place in the Most Inspirational Book category.
Won the prestigious Writer\'s Digest award
